Talking to a counselor, surely it’s the same as speaking to a friend? Or does it really help? Am I not enough for my child!

 

Traumatic events come and go in our lives but they leave behind a hole, a memory. Such memories can be difficult for our minds to navigate day to day life as they are so overpowering. Having a good network of support through family and friends is always a bonus. Having someone understand how u feel through a friend, sister , brother and parent is priceless. If that’s the case then why are we given recommendations of counseling? 

Now this is the interesting bit, there will be some previous research in this blog so stay with me mums. 

A study done in 2021 looked into trauma based counseling in children and adults who have gone through past trauma. I will try to summaries but if you want to read the study in detail, the link is provided. Now what exactly is trauma? 

……domestic abuse! 

……can be physical, emotional, sexual including rape.

……It is absolutely anything horrid that has happened to you. 

They found that trauma results  in a loss of confidence, loss of self esteem, not feeling secure in ourselves and problems 

With trusting others. I’m sure a lot of us can relate. So What are the signs in a child? 

They can show signs of nervousness, they may complain of physical pain when there upset. (In my child I noticed tummy aches increased)  This was scary to read but children may be so frightened that they could faint or even die!! They could suffer from panic attacks, chest pains, trouble

With their heart, the list is endless. The aim of counselling is to stop these signs, to stop the depression, the anxiety, the panic attacks etc. The idea of counseling is to help “overcome the obstacle of an overpowered mind and to promote personal growth and development especially in children”. In children being able to calm their “overpowered mind” will allow them to achieve better at school, it will help them with social interactions and for general growth and development. (Abuo et al, 2021, Trauma – Informed Counseling towards Ensuring Mental Wellbeing amongChildren and Adolescents, International Journal of Health and Pharmaceutical Research E-ISSN 2545-5737, (2021), [online] 6(1), pp.2695–2165. Accessed: https://d1wqtxts1xzle7.cloudfront.net/97245131/Trauma_Informed_Counseling_towards_Ensuring_Mental_Wellbeing_among_Children_and_Adolescents.pdf?1673623262=&response-content-disposition=inline%3B+filename%3DTrauma_Informed_Counseling_towards_Ensur.pdf&Expires=1718584497&Signature=GtQTVem1RGpq-XA-SFbZ-w73viAhDpLl9PhBXPOv~IOh78eztsx4mEJ0Wz~zpmitvPes-IyW00vWqthCsWCCI2l9iL4~n-nJZ9QsoplWnVSTKp9HQwMDI7ktxVjdXtH6268PKj0aeWUZ0tCWK~GA2hYjf58KMMwkzCGftszMiyJHEUwReIkvBsOKFEgeD03H7l4CzfrX12vyrRRaxv52uflB4DmP0cQXiaZJgNglz-y9sSFARw2IZm9fGeRVPtMO2tfSV5AbTC2A0QCOTmJL0fiCj-~b-vPNaKO80qPisFAiDlp5JcGVdkLTdaRjmh1Vv9J-jtwfmFTy~V5sW1Tx2g__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAJLOHF5GGSLRBV4ZA ) 

There are programs out there through schools or your local authority to help children and ourselves understand what has happened to us and how to move forward from it all. Some councils in the UK do freedom programs for both adults and children which gives us valuable information that will help us understand what has happened to us and to give us an understanding on what healthy relationships look like.  Yes we see a lot of posts, quotes on social media such as Facebook and Instagram but these programs are more in depth. 

Before I turn this blog into a essay, the main take home message I wanted you to understand is that there is no shame in arranging counselling either for yourselves or for our children if we feel they will benefit. Sometimes a qualified counselor is able to help us or our children find techniques we may not have known to help us navigate our thoughts. 

Has anyone done counseling ? Let us know what you thought of it in the comments below!!

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