It can be difficult to leave a toxic relationship which could be a relationship between a husband and wife, a friend, siblings, parent etc. This blog will mainly speak about leaving a relationship between a husband and wife but can be used in a different context as well .
you may avoid leaving due to many reasons for example financial dependancy, the fear of being alone. The fear of people who “will talk” , the fear of the unknown, the amount of what if’s. What if I leave and they change ? What if they get married and treats the new spouse so much better, maybe I should wait? What if they harm themselves if I leave? What if I’ve missed out on something amazing, They just told me it’s my choice but they have changed? What if they can’t survive the breakdown? You may even be imagining the guilt of a funeral and the shame that will be brought upon you. What if ! What if! What if! The endless questions making you go insane.
Overcoming the fears and deciding to leave can be a big decision and a decision that should not be taken lightly.
So what affect can a toxic relationship have on victims? Psychopathy has been shown in research to be involved in a toxic relationship leading to the mental health of victims being affected. Depression and post traumatic stress disorder being common in these cases. Narcissists can display traits of a psychopath such as lack of remorse, poor anger management and lack of empathy. Their behaviour can have serious consequences on the victims mental health. Research has shown that the individuals who possess such traits are not able to be affected by their actions as they are in more need of feeling pride and in control. They don’t care about how they have made the person feel. They won’t feel fazed by the hurt they have caused. They just seek “immediate self gratification”.
Source :- Forth et al, Int J Offender Ther Comp Criminol. 2022 Nov; 66(15): 1627–1658. Published online 2021 Oct 6. doi: 10.1177/0306624X211049187
Leaving a toxic relationship could cause the narcissist to feel they’re losing control, they may show bouts of anger, they may isolate you. Suddenly they may go into defensive mode with everyone you love making you look like you’re the bad one. They may exaggerate stories that happened in your relationship so that you’re left alone and isolated. They will bring your close family to you so they could watch you being abused by them as they have manipulated them so much against you. They will constantly keep you confused by giving you false hope they changed and how you’re making the wrong decision but then their actions will show otherwise. If you confront them they will tell you that it’s your fault for not trusting them. You want to hold on to their words of hope for change but are afraid that this is another lie to lure you back in. When the charm stops working, you remove the blindfold, you make the tough decision to leave, you look for support but the narcissist has already got their before you and now whatever you say is hitting a brick wall. Have an exit plan and leave if safe to do so.
If any of this relates to you drop a comment below
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